


Eye Contact

by herwhiteknight



Series: 365 Days of Sarah/Cosima [7]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 14:04:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8146853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herwhiteknight/pseuds/herwhiteknight
Summary: After being rescued from Brightborn, Sarah looks after a battered and terrified Cosima who can't look her, or anyone, in the eye.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Canon-divergent from 4x06. This fic is a little snippet from a 'verse that me and two other people are writing. It diverges from canon when Evie takes Cosima and holds her captive at the Brightborn facilities. Sarah and crew eventually mount a rescue, but by the time Cosima is safely back with the Clone Club, she has sustained major psychological and physical traumas at the hands of Evie.
> 
> Day 8 of 365
> 
> Prompt: Eye Contact

For the longest time after Cosima was rescued from Brightborn, bloody and battered, she wouldn't look at anyone. It's not that she didn't want to, but she was terrified of what pain might be inflicted upon her if she even dared look up from the floor.

Sarah had tried, several times, to convince Cosima that she was safe. “I don't understand,” Cosima heard Sarah mutter to Mrs. S after talking to Cosima for the fifth time, “She knows she's safe, right? We would never hurt her.”

“She just needs time, love. She's been through an extreme amount of trauma and she needs time to heal,” Mrs. S said, and her soft gentle voice almost drove Cosima to tears right there on that couch in the basement of the safe house. _T_ _hey wanted her to be better._ Cosima _wanted herself to be better. So why couldn't she just_ look _at them?_

“Sarah just wants me to be happy, Sarah just wants me to be happy – stupid, stupid, stupid, shhh stop, sh-she'll h-hear you-” Cosima whispered frantically to herself, bringing a palm to her face and striking her cheek repeatedly as she rocked on the couch.

“Hey!” A loud voice, too loud, called over to her. _It's Evie –_ _she's_ _back, she's going to punish me for making noise, I shouldn't have-_ “Hey... hey Cos? Cos, love?” The voice lowered, the words became more gentle. Cosima cracked open her eyes, caught a glance of Sarah's combat booted feet. Felt a little more relaxed, but still shattered.

“Evie was.. she was _here_ just now, sh-she w-was sh-shouting at m-me, and I just-”

“No.. no love,” Sarah was quick to correct in a way that was so soft, so gentle. “I'm so sorry Cosima, that was my fault, see? I was too loud, love. I'm so sorry. I won't hurt you. I promise.”

“Sarah?” Cosima asked, hating how shaky her voice was. _She's gonna leave you like this, you're a mess, why would she want-_

“Yeah Cos? I'm here, love.”

Cosima stared at the way Sarah's hands twisted in her lap, betraying the anxiety that she kept out of her voice. All for Cosima's benefit. “I.. I-I'm s-sorry I c-cant l-look at you, I j-just.. I'm just s-sorry, I-”

Cosima hated the apology. Hated te way she had to make it so many times over the past few days. She waited for Sarah's heavy sigh, one that would precede her usual “It's okay Cos”, her repeated platitude “I know you just need time”. But none of it came. Instead she murmured, “You know that I – I'm here for you, yeah?” her voice catching in the middle of her sentence, like she wanted to say something else but changed her mind rapidly through the words.

“I know y-you a-are, Sarah, and th-that-s why it's s-so fr-fr-frustratating to not- t-to not be able to, to.. to l-look at you and I.. I w-want to l-look at you, and and.. and it's n-not f-fair to y-you and I just..”

Sarah rode out Cosima's stumbling words quietly, only shifting slightly to rub a palm against her knee. At what Cosima thought was a clearly uncomfortable motion of Sarah's hand, she stuttered off into silence, waiting for the reprimand, unsure of Sarah's reaction because she couldn't bring herself to look at Sarah's face. _What if she saw anger or disgust there, in her eyes? What if she hated her?_

Sarah still hadn't said anything. Cosima began rocking nervously at her silence. But just as she was about to raise her hand to start hitting her face again, Sarah's hand turned over, palm up. Resting quietly on her own lap, it was an invitation. “C'mere,” Sarah said softly. And, even though she couldn't see her face, Cosima could hear the gentle grin in it. It made her want to look up, to see Sarah's smile for real, with her own two eyes.

So she did. And as she made eye contact with Sarah for the first time since her rescue, Cosima saw the way they lit up as their gazes met. “Atta girl,” Sarah whispered quietly, oh so quietly, her throat choked with emotion. “I'm so, so proud of you, Cos.”

Cosima cracked a smile of her own, a small upward twitch of her lips. It wasn't as bright or as open as it used to be, but it was her first smile in what felt like years. Then, without taking her eyes off of Sarah's warm, steady gaze, Cosima slid her palm across her lap, clasped her hand in Sarah's strong grip. And squeezed.


End file.
